Role of parents in attention deficit and hyperactivity in children

If your child jumps more than usual, never sits quietly, is unable to sit even in front of the teacher in the classroom in school, is unable to concentrate on any one task, then the child may have AD. HD Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) may result in decreased attention and hyperactivity. It is a behavioral disease that is more common in boys. In such children, the normal parenting methods do not work fully, so parents also have to bring some changes in their behavior. Medicines also work to some extent in this disease, but many aspects of behavior are not cured by medicine and parents and family can play a special role to cure them. Being a parent to such children is indeed a challenge, as these children have very little internal control as compared to other children. So parents have to adopt special methods with them.

Here it is necessary to know what is behavior and what causes it? Behavioral scientists believe that every good or bad behavior we learn from a reaction immediately after an act, such as when we put on a dress and people around us (friends etc.) And if we say that the dress didn’t look good, we would probably prefer to wear it less. Children learn a lot from their parents and family members, be it good or bad. Parents do not intentionally teach bad behavior to children, but unfortunately it happens. A direct way of learning behavior in children is seen by the elders, so if the elders do not set good examples, then inadvertently children will learn unwanted behavior. So do what you want from your children.

Another way of learning behavior in children is your reaction to the child’s activity. For example, if the baby starts crying, you feed him toffee, chocolate and the baby calms down. From this you learned that toffee, chocolate calms the child, but at the same time the child learned that crying gives him toffee, chocolate. So in future if he wants toffee, chocolate, he can make a way to cry too. Now even if it becomes bad behavior for some reason, it cannot be changed. Most parents do not understand how to treat these children. Therefore, getting fed up or getting excited, they start scolding, reprimanding and beating the children. This method does not prove effective in most children because:
(a) Such punishment inculcates aggressive tendencies in the child when such children are already aggressive.
(b) By punishment, we only teach the child what not to do, not what he should do.
(c) Most of the children develop ill-will towards over-punishing parents.
(d) Often such punishment depends more on the parents’ own mood and less on the actual fault of the child.

There are a few ways, based on psychological research, that with continued practice you can improve your child’s behavior. This task is definitely difficult but it can be done by adopting the following methods:

  1. To change the behavior of the child, bring changes in your behavior and be a good example in front of the children themselves.
  2. As mentioned earlier, the immediate reaction of any behavior determines whether the behavior should be continued or broken. There is also a response to the child’s behavior ‘paying attention’. We often do not pay attention to children, our attention is attracted when they do some unwanted behavior and we start giving speeches. Children may also do wrong things to get attention. If they continue to get the required amount of attention, and especially when they are doing something good, their good behavior will be encouraged. For example, if the child is reciting counting, writing or coloring etc., then pay attention to him and if he is screaming, moving the chair etc. then do not pay attention to him. It sounds like a very easy thing to hear and read, but it requires constant effort to put it into practice.
  3. If any behavior is encouraged or rewarded, then that behavior is encouraged. The reward should be given immediately after the behavior and it must be stated why the reward/incentive is being given. Like I am very glad that you have completed your work today. Initially it should be given every time and gradually it can be given occasionally. So always encourage and reward good behavior. Incentives and rewards can be given in any form. Like giving praise, hugging or kissing the child, playing with him, bringing him toys or something that he likes etc.
  1. Whatever work you want the child to do, give him clear and simple instructions. While giving instructions, keep an eye on the child and speak firmly. If possible, give positive instructions only, that is, do not do this, do not do this, do not do that etc. If the child does the work according to your instructions, do not forget to pay attention to him and encourage him and reward him. Don’t give instructions that you can’t get kids to follow. If your child does not act according to your instructions and you do nothing, then it makes the child understand that there is no special meaning in what they say, they keep on saying it. So make sure your instructions are followed.
  2. If the child does a lot of wrong mischief or does not listen even after giving a warning, then keep him in a corner of the house etc. (a place which is very distasteful) for a while (like five minutes) from him. Don’t talk to anyone.

In giving any reward or punishment, it is important that every time there is the same punishment for the same mistake and every time there is an incentive reward for a good deed. Do not condemn your child.

If all these methods are adopted regularly, then surely you can expect the desired behavior from the children. Although these methods have been prescribed for children suffering from attention deficit and hyperactivity, but these methods can be adopted in normal children also.